listening and working

You will be more desirable to be around if you consciously attempt to be a good listener and hard worker. There are many things outside our locus of control, but these two features can be formed over time.

The opposite of that, of course, is not listening to what anyone says and having a poor work ethic.

I am of the opinion that most things in life can be learned and improved. 

The thing about inner work is, it is hard. When we work on our external human vehicle, there are visible differences in how we look. This positive feedback is a reinforcement for us to keep doing the thing we are doing.

Conversely, inner work requires empty space and inward reflecting. For most, it is a lot less appealing. Most would rather continue to carry on with their version of reality, which has piled up in front of their inanimate eyes over the years. This is simpler than having a hard and critical look at how they can be a better human to themselves and others. 

While it is important to be kind to others, it is even more important to be kind to yourself. This is a difficult balancing act, but it is an important contributor to our perceived quality of life.

When we try to put ourselves first, many feel a sense of social pressure and guilt. Of course, we all have family obligations, some more impactful than others. The family is important. It is my opinion that you must take action each day to make yourself happy. Friendship and romantic relationships should be viewed as a mechanism to augment your life, not lessen it. It is beneficial to have awareness for this notion. If a person is consistently taking from your energy source, and adding more stress to your human experience, remove them from your life. 

Becoming a good listener and cultivating a strong work ethic will augment your life.